After my recent Huffington Post column, 10 Signs He’s Cheating I received countless emails from people wanting to know why women cheat. According to these emails, there seems to be a mystery as to what would motivate a woman to cheat. Many of the men I see whose wives cheated are left blindsided and stunned. They often say, “I married a good girl, how could she have cheated?” Or, “My wife isn’t the type to cheat”. The fact is, they do cheat and it is more common than most people think. In my practice there’s definitely an upswing of women and couples where cheating is the issue. The question arises, is there more cheating amongst women or is it just more talked about now? Perhaps a little of both. Whatever the case, knowing the characteristics of the cheater and gaining insight into her mind can shed some light on the topic. Based on the many female cheaters I’ve seen over the years, I’ve come to identify several common traits:
- She loves sex and wants more than one partner. Yes, women can have insatiable sex drives and crave variety too and as such, do what they need to do to satisfy it.
- Her emotional needs are not being met at home and she feels isolated and alone. Perhaps her husband works a lot or he is just emotionally distant. I often hear, “He’s just never available”, “My husband feels like a stranger to me” or “I feel unloved” when women talk about why they cheated.
- Her sexual needs are not being met at home. What was once an active sex life may now be infrequent or non-existent. Female cheaters say to me, “he made me feel sexy again” when describing their lover. Or, “I feel so alive”. Not surprising given how vital our sexuality is to our sense of self. People will do what they have to do to get their sexual needs met.
- She has lots of close male friends. Most affairs begin as friendship with platonic friends. Unlike males, women are less likely to step
There’s no doubt that cheating is on the rise. The number of cheaters and victims of cheating I’m seeing is twofold compared to just a few years ago. If this is any indication of the national trend, then it’s an epidemic of sorts. Are more people cheating? Quite possibly. Read entire column here.
The winter of 2014 has not only strained snow removal budgets and school systems, but also peoples’ moods. Because of this, I, as a psychotherapist in the Northern Hemisphere of the U.S. have seen an influx of patients for symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). The winter of 2014 has not only strained snow removal budgets and school systems, but also peoples’ moods. Because of this, I, as a psychotherapist in the Northern Hemisphere of the U.S. have seen an influx of patients for symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Read the entire Huffington Post column here.
“I feel so sad being alone on Valentine’s Day.” “Will I be alone forever?”
“I hate being single.”
Read the entire Huffington Post column here.
So often I hear complaints such as: “He’s more into his sports than he’s into me” or “I’m tired of competing with his sports watching.” The good news: it’s fixable. Read the complete Huffington Post column here.
There’s no doubt that sleep issues contribute to both mental and physical health problems and also to societal stress. For proof, look no farther than the Metro North train accident on Dec. 1, 2013. Reportedly, the train’s engineer fell asleep at the controls as the train approached a curve. Also linked to sleep problems are heart disease, hypertension, stroke, and obesity, according to the CDC. The good news is that so much of improving sleep has to do with lifestyle and things that you can actually control. Rather than convincing yourself that you’re a bad sleeper, take a look below and implement some of these suggestions: Read entire Huffington Post column here:
Road rage continues to be a huge problem, as streets and highways are often where people’s emotions, dramas, stress, and anxieties play out. I’ve treated clients who have been on both sides of this: the road rager and the victim. Read entire Huffington Post column.
It’s a new year, and if you’re like a lot of people, you’re probably trying to lose weight. You may pick up the latest diet book and put into action whatever is recommended, no matter how preposterous the suggestion is. Over the past few years I’ve seen juice cleanse and fasting diets, which will only lead to temporary loss of water weight, and a few years ago, eating like a French woman was all the craze. Heck, I’ve even seen one that recommended cupcakes. Folks, these diets don’t work. Fads, crash diets, quick fixes, and bizarre remedies do not lead to healthy weight loss. Slow, steady, and reasonable changes in behavior do. Theoretically, it’s easy: Eat less and move more and over time this will lead to weight loss. But this remains hugely challenging for people.
Here are my tricks and tips for helping people with their weight loss efforts:
• Eat with your non-dominant hand or use chop sticks. This will help you to slow down your eating and take smaller bites. Both of these are correlated with less intake of food and ultimately weight loss. Similarly, use smaller plates and bowls. This will force you to take less food and consume less.
• Keep food away from the table. Serving directly from the stove or counter will lessen your desire to take second helpings just because the food is in front of you. You’ll also be more aware of what you’re eating.
• Slow it down and chew more. Doing so allows more time for your brain and stomach to get in sync with each other. It takes approximately 20 minutes for your stomach to send signals to your brain that you are full, hence the frequent overeating.
• If you have an event or party to attend where you know food and drinks will be served, eat beforehand. This will help eliminate your desire to indulge simply because the food looks good, is free, and is in front of you.
• Eat healthy snacks between meals and if packing them to go, put them in small one-serving bags rather than large ones. …
February 13, 7:00-8:30
Are you tired of spending countless hours on Match, J-Date, e-harmony, POF, OK Cupid, and other dating sites? Tired of meeting liars, fakes, gold-diggers and wasting your time and money? Jonathan Alpert, Manhattan psychotherapist, relationship expert, and author of BE FEARLESS: Change Your Life in 28 Days leads this interactive group where you’ll learn the following:
- Craft a highly effective online profile that will help to spell out clearly what you want and what you don’t want.
- How to read between the lines and uncover any hidden agendas or motives.
- How to move things from online to real life without getting stuck in endless email exchanges.
- Spot red flags and learn how to weed out the crazies, gold-diggers, and those who are simply not your type.
- Maximize your efforts while also learning what is a good first date and how not to fall into the pattern of having a lot of first dates that go nowhere.
For details/rsvp: firstname.lastname@example.org
Greed, Sex and Drugs on Wall St.: Therapist to Financial Pros Tells All
Jonathan Alpert, psychotherapist to the Street, talks to ThinkAdvisor about why some advisors and bankers are so self-destructive.
Read entire interview here.